Sports coverage took a giant leap backwards as we delved into the world of Kiwi TV for the second elimination final live from 1994.
Just on pure aesthetics the throwback Thursday product warps us back to what could be the mid 90s, but hey at least the league had 14 teams in 1994.
Anyway, what the hell are the commentators saying?
The TV is quickly muted and it soon becomes apparent the 36ers forgot to pack their defence and ball security or at the least they were confiscated by customs.
As a result the Sixers are relegated to playing catch-up for the duration of Brett Maher's final game.
We all want to see Maher strap up his calves at least one more time, but he now leaves the sport as one of the greatest players to never dunk in a game, if not the best.
It's a shame Maher bows out in such lacklustre circumstances on a crappy floor in a crappy venue surrounded by some tossers feasting at courtside tables, sinking Steinlagers.
And for those who were wondering; "Hamene" is Maori for foul.
I'll keep that in mind next time a Kiwi is "Hamening" the shit out of me!
Adelaide pulled within one midway through the second quarter, with Brad Hill getting righteous from all parts of the court, both off the dribble and without the ball.
Hill had 20 in the first half and finished with 32 on 14-of-24 "Kurus".
Phil Jones banked home some Chicko's action to close the third, then he ran over to his corpulent mate on baseline for some love and the sheep shaggers were up 13 going into the fourth.
After hauling in one of his 14 "Tuurapas", Reck Reckert viciously swung his arms near Hill and gave us a look at his crazy white-boy KG stare-down.
The Breakers closed out from long range, CJ Bruton draining five triples and Kirk Penney adding two, before Reckert capped the night with a slam followed by the most awkward airplane celebration ever performed.
The Sixers turned the ball over 15 times to New Zealand's six, and if it weren't for one of those "Huripapas" then Paul Henare would have only had zero points, instead of the two that landed in his lap off a careless "Huripapa".
Bring on the Tigers for game one on Wednesday and then unfortunately fire up the DeLorean to 88 miles per hour for throwback Friday.
There was little more than a token mention of it. When the final siren sounded, I think all Australian viewers wanted a shot of Maher leaving the court one last time, and maybe even an interview. If Fox Sports were doing the game, I'm sure that's what we would have got.
Instead, nothing. Ninnis had to go out of his way in the post-game interview to mention him, and the reporter simply went on to ask for a tip in the Breakers-Tigers series.
Shouldn't surprise us. The Maori TV coverage is always shocking. How many times do they have to go to an extreme close-up DURING play, meaning we always miss the next basket? And how many times do we need to see the back of corporates' heads? Is their ear-wax really that fascinating?
And why do they so often change language mid-sentence? Is this not disrespectful to the Australian viewers, who they know are watching?
And why do the Breakers always chose no more than 3 songs each season and play the hell out of them. We get it...Patrick Hernandez was born to be alive!
It says something about the country of New Zealand when they need a big decal in the middle of the court saying "Family Violence is not OK!"
Fair enough though, after watching Maori TV's coverage you do feel like taking out your frustration on your grandmother.
Can't wait for next Friday....
I couldn't bring myself to mention the floor banner at center court... It'd be funny if it wasn't so friggen ridiculous.... "Oh family violence is NOT ok? I thought it WAS ok? Lucky I went to watch Brett Maher's last game and there was a big sticker on the court telling me otherwise. Lucky the Breakers won bro, or might have had to smack a bitch! Oh, wait that's not ok."
Hot damn.