Led by Atlanta Hawks immortal and Bonzi Wells' Chinese League fluffer Donta "Monta Ellis" Smith, the Dragons disposed of the Townsville Crocodiles in Game One of their Semi-Finals series.
Smith did a little bit of everything on his way to 25 points, his driving bucket late in the third helped sway the game as the Dragons stubbornly preserved their advantage down the stretch.
The final moments of the third quarter proved pivotal when at 59-59, Cam "Metro" Tovey exposed his true identity as a flaming Merman while unveiling the worst free-throw attempt in the history of professional basketball.
Not only was this shot appalling and disgusting visually, but it sparked the demise of the Crocs, who coughed up the ball on their next possession (thanks to Tovey), before failing to launch an attempt on the final possession due to an inability to decipher the ancient and secret code of traditional digital display time keeping.
[Note: If missing a pair of free-throws is a "cardinal sin" in basketball, then Tovey would have been better off violating baby Jesus instead of hoisting up that radioactive elephant turd of an attempt.]
Ya dead to me Tovey, I wish I never saw you prancing around on television as a God damn Mermaid.
"Merman… cough, cough, cough… Merman!"
Yes Cam, moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
Anyway, the Brian Goorjian Basketball-Machine (BGBM) appeared to carry some rust in the opening term as the Crocs jumped to a 21-10 lead behind 11-rapid-fire points by John Rillie.
Goorjian called for time, put on his white lab coat and for the next two minutes proceeded to check the specs on the end line for the rotary… girder.
This seemed to do the trick as Donta responded with eight points and the BGBM was back to full functionality at 24-24.
Rillie exposed some additional kinks in the system with a pair of treys to create an 11-point buffer, but after removing the rest of the cob-webs from the 10-day lay off, the Dragons pulled within two (40-42) at halftime.
Game Notes:
It's okay, I'm already going to Hell.
Here are some more free-throw doosies to enjoy;
